Holy Innocents

Today is the feast of the Holy Innocents, the day we remember and honor all the innocent babies that lost their lives not only for the Newborn King, but in His place.  The Church calls these sweet babies the Flowers of the Martyrs.

While traveling in search of their King, the Three Wise Men, stopped to pay a respectful visit to King Herod, as they passed through
his kingdom. King Herod might have been embarrassed, humiliated, jealous or offended that these Wise Men from afar were aware of the Newborn King in his kingdom and yet he was not. He may have asked many questions in an effort to find out exactly where they were going and whom they were going to see.

We know that the Three Wise Men made their visit to the Newborn King and presented their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh (St. Matt, chap 2, v 11). We know that an angel appeared to St. Joseph (St. Matt, chap 2, v 13-15) in his sleep, saying: 

"Arise, and take the Child and his Mother, and fly into Egypt, and be there until I shall tell thee. For it shall come to pass that Herod will seek the Child to destroy him. Who arose, and took the Child and his Mother by night, and retired into Egypt, and he was there until the death of Herod;"

We know that King Herod (St. Matt, chap 2, v 16) sent his men and 

"killed all the men children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the borders thereof, from two years old and under,".

In Herod we see how blind and how cruel ambition is.  It begs the question, what is the driving force behind the loss of the innocent lives from abortion?  I'm ashamed to even try to guess at some of the reasons a person may choose to end their baby's life.  
Any reason I conjure up seems inadequate and inappropriate . . . timing?  finances?  health?  fear? 

It's always devastating to hear of the death of a child, always.  Can you imagine the pain and suffering in Bethlehem on that day? Can you imagine soldiers coming down the streets and into homes on a mission to massacre babies and leaving them to die in their wake?  Why is it so unbearable to even think of losing our babies against our will and yet we should have the "choice" of abortion?  It's inherently wrong, and we know it.  It can not be wrong for someone else to kill our babies and at the same time "a right" for us to kill them.

Holy Innocents, Flowers of the Martyrs, please pray for us to be as brave as your parents had to be so that we have the courage to end abortion!


Mama Bear's Christmas Message

Mama Bear loves, loves, loves the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".  The Story of George Bailey, who never got to follow his dream.  George finds himself one Christmas Eve in despair because of his company's apparent financial doom.  God sends a guardian angel, second class, Clarence, to help George through this difficult time.  Clarence shows George what a different place his corner of the world would be if George had never been born.  George discovers that despite the fact that life didn't go the way he wanted he's really had a wonderful life and we get to see an example of what a difference ONE person can make in so many other's lives.

Panda Bear received the book, "Horton Hears a Who" for Christmas.  The message ~ a person's a person no matter how small.  Appropriately the smallest Who in Whoville makes the difference that saves all of Whoville.  Never under estimate the power of one, a person's a person no matter how small.

Our three bears also received the movie "Wall-E", from their aunt and uncle.  Even Wall-E knew to protect life.

Today we celebrate the birth of One who is Our Newborn King, the Savior of the World.  Who would have believed that He would choose to come as a baby to such a humble couple in such a lowly place surrounded by the night air, the stable animals, with only hay for his bed.  Who can say how One can make such a difference in the world for over 2000 years to all on earth, even those that don't  believe.

For those of us who do believe in Him and know the importance of His example and our duty to follow Him . . . His choice to become Life, to come as a baby, to live as we live, to walk the earth, to have relationships, to work and struggle and suffer, to die ~ this is the choice we are to follow . . . Life!  We must choose Life ~ always!  No matter how difficult, no matter the surprise or unexpectedness, no matter how small, no matter how seemingly hopeless, no matter.

His gift to us is always Life.  He's given us His Life and our own life; the gift of the lives of the ones we love; the gift of the lives of the ones that we don't love ~ to teach us; to bring us to Him.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Life!


Happy Matrimony

Today is my wedding anniversary, the day we received the sacrament of Matrimony.  The literal translation of matrimony is "mother-making".  I think that's beautiful, or as Panda Bear says, "oooh, bue-a-foe"!

The only thing I ever knew I wanted to be was a mother.  When I was little I said I wanted eight children.  It's one of the reasons I fell in love with my husband ~ he comes from a family of ten children.  There is something about the energy in a house full of children that has always attracted me.  By the time my husband and I started dating I thought four children sounded pretty good and he thought six was a nice round number (which he doesn't recall ever saying).  It was the first time I had ever been out 'numbered' by a prospective mate.

I especially remember a conversation we had while we were engaged when I was worrying about what we were going to do if the children came too fast and furious.  My fiance assured me that God knew best.  I chuckle at that memory for a couple of reasons ~ one, because it's a great example of how worthless it is to worry about our future; two, because my husband was right and I don't admit that too often. 

God had His own plans for us and, it never ceases to amaze us!  I have said before that with each of our sons we were twice blessed ~ once by God and once by their birth mother.  We did get what we wanted . . . six blessings . . . just not exactly the way we ever thought or planned.

I can not put into words, even in my own head, what a gift it is to mother another's child.  It's the added miracle that our boys have another mother and she has blessed us with her child.  Doesn't that just ooze G I F T ?!

On this day, only two days until the gift of His Son, I thank the Dear Lord for my husband, our children, our birth mothers and His amazing gift of my matrimony!


Baby Making Rhyme

We've been reading a LOT of Dr. Seuss lately, it's Panda Bear's favorite!  With all of the Dr. Seuss rhymes running through my  head I've come up with a rendition of my own to be read to the rhythm of Dr. Seuss.  To get you in the mood here's a little Fox in Socks ...

"When tweetle beetles fight,
it's called
a tweetle beetle battle.

And when they
battle in a puddle,
it's a tweetle
beetle puddle battle.

AND when tweetle beetles
battle with paddles in a puddle,
they call it a tweetle
beetle puddle paddle battle.

When beetles battle beetles
in a puddle paddle battle
and the beetle battle puddle
is a puddle in a bottle ...
...They call this
a tweetle beetle
bottle puddle
paddle battle muddle."

Here's what I've come up with...

When people choose to act
in a way that makes a baby
then those people who
make babies
should be ready
for a baby

If people don't want
babies then those acts
that make babies
can be postponed
and avoided so as not to 
make a baby

If people don't want babies but
can't wait for
the baby making act
then there's always

If these people don't want babies
and choose to use contraception
then the people need to 
know that despite their contraception
that a baby may be made

So . . . when people choose to act in a way that
makes a baby then those
people who make babies
should be ready for a baby

And . . . If people R-E-A-L-L-Y
don't want babies
then those acts that
make babies
can be postponed and avoided
so as not to make a baby

If people know this all
and choose the act
that makes a baby
and a baby is made
then the baby is a fact
and will never go away
despite what you've been told

So . . . let babies be considered
for the baby making act
and the people will be
ready for their babies


The Journey

As we get closer to Christmas, while we await Life Himself, my thoughts turn to the journey.  It's a difficult journey, to be sure.  There will be anxiety, discomfort, pain, work, responsibility, fatigue, rejection, and in the end Joy.

When we try to take such control of our life, believing we make every decision at every turn OR that we must fix the situation that we didn't choose, we miss out on the unknown, the untapped, the unimaginable gifts that lie within AND without ~ the benefit of a cross sent straight from God.

We've all heard, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger".  There's a heck-of-a-lot to say for that inner strength, that self confidence, that lesson learned that all comes from bearing our crosses.

When I think of the greatest trials in my life I'm reminded of the pain and the struggle to get through each of these situations, sometimes years later or once again.  I would never have chosen any of these trials.  BUT, they have each led me to the most treasured gifts in my life.

We all know someone who's been laid off from their job and it's led to their dream job; someone who's boyfriend broke up with them which led to them meeting their spouse; someone who's had to deal with a life threatening illness which led them to reconnect with a family member or maybe even God.  Which is really where life is supposed to lead us ... that's why He sends our crosses ... to lead us to Him. 

Of course, hindsight (a blessing in itself) is to thank for the understanding I have as I sit here and type.  As we grow and mature we learn the benefit of our crosses.  We learn that our crosses are gifts of suffering on earth, from God.  They truly are gifts!  As St. Francis de Sales wrote: 
"The everlasting God has, in His wisdom, foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you, as a gift from His inmost heart.  This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with His loving arms, and weighed with His own hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you.  He has blessed it with His holy Name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God."
 So, as we journey let us consider ~ ~ ~ 

Life is a gift.

There are no accidents.

Nothing is unplanned.

Good can come from difficulty.

In LIFE there is joy!


Prince of Peace Award

A spiritual mentor of mine has recognized my blog with this award.  I have no idea how many people stop to read my thoughts, but I am touched that Lisa, at Are We There Yet?, has passed this on to me.  Thank you, Lisa!

Here is a link to View From The Pews where this special honor started. 


Our Lady of Guadalupe

The image at the top of this blog is a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  On the right is a picture of the miraculous image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.   As we celebrate Her feast today I'd like to share Her story ~

In 1531, in the part of Mexico that is now Mexico City, the bishop prayed to Our Blessed Mother to bring peace between the Spanish rule and the natives, and for a stop to the human sacrifices.  On December 9th, 10th and 12th of that year Our Lady appeared, near Tepayac Hill, to a peasant named Juan Diego.  She appeared pregnant with Her Divine Son. Our Lady requested that a church be built there on Tepayac Hill.  When Juan Diego took this message to the bishop, the bishop asked for a sign.

Juan Diego returned with an undeniable sign.  Although it was December, Our Lady had him pick Castilian roses that were native to the bishop's home in Spain.  He put the roses in his tilma (a poncho like cloak made of cactus fiber).  When he opened his tilma to reveal the roses there was a miraculous image of Our Lady just as Juan Diego had described Her to the bishop.

This miracle took place 477 years ago today and the image is still visible on the tilma that is miraculously still in tact.  Since Our Lady's appearance human sacrifices have ended.  I've read that 6 - 9 million conversions took place over the next 6 - 9 years.

My prayer for Our Blessed Mother today (and everyday) is that She will intervene for the unborn and help to put a stop to the human sacrifice that today we call abortion.
Until then, may Her words to Juan Diego be their comfort ~

"Do not be distressed, my littlest son.  Am I not here with you who am your Mother?  Are you not under my shadow and protection?" 

*Please click on the title of this post if you'd like to read more detail about the apparition of Our Lady of Guadalupe.


The Unknown

It doesn't matter how old I am there are still monsters in the dark.  The unknown is scary!  It's only human to be afraid of the unknown or unplanned.  That's where faith comes in.  We can't, I repeat ... we can't do "it" on our own.  When we look at life through the eyes of faith and accept the unknown or unplanned as coming from God we open ourselves up to His plan vs. ours.

Have you ever heard this? ~ "If you want to make God laugh, make plans."  His ways are always best!

Birthmothers seem to get this in a special way and cooperate with God's plan in a courageous manner.  I worry about the negative image that people have of birth mothers: they're cold and heartless; they don't love their children; they're selfish, careless and irresponsible.

Consider that birth mothers are women of all ages; they are women from all walks of life; they're in a difficult situation or they're having a hard time at this point in life; they love their children as much as anyone; they have incredible self awareness admitting that they can't give their child what they want them to have; they are unimaginably selfless in their ability to let go of a part of themselves, with no guarantee - but hope, that their child will have a better life; they live with a hole in their heart because of this sacrifice; that they are brave.

Each birth mother has her own individual story.  And because the adoption process has changed in the last generation, she can now make choices that she wouldn't have been able to make in the past.  Choices that take away some of the unknown and thus quell some of her fears.  A birth mother can specify the exact family she would want to love her baby.  She can choose the race, religion, pets, number of children, yearly income, anything that's important to her.

I've heard negative comments about this, as well.  If we stop to really think about what a birth mother is sacrificing then it makes all the sense in the world that she should have the ability to make choices for her baby that she is comfortable with.  She will have plenty of the unknown to wonder about in the future and giving her this peace of mind in the beginning isn't too much to ask.



As a mother raising three boys it seems that daily life is an ongoing lesson in respect.  We need to learn to respect our property, each other, God, special qualities or talents, a person's feelings, boundaries, rules & laws.  There are undoubtedly things worthy of respect that I'm leaving out ~ ~ ~

With the evolution of political correctness it's become expected that we respect *differences* and even sin.  I have a friend that often speaks in awe of how backward things seem.  Her concluding comment, with a touch of sarcasm, is, "What's right is wrong and what's wrong is right."  This always reminds me of Isaias 5:20, 

"Woe to you that call evil good, and good evil:"

The pro-abortion agenda is a perfect example of this twisted, backward, evil.  How can we respect choosing to kill your unborn child?  Where is the respect for God given life?

If we respect something we take care of it.
If we respect someone we care for and honor them.  We may even aspire to be like them.

Choosing abortion is seen as taking care of one person; honoring one person's rights.  The fact that another person is not being taken care of, but is destroyed, is ignored.  The fact that one person not only has no right to choose, but also has their right to live taken away, is ignored.  There is nothing respectful about taking advantage of our authority or control over another life, especially one that is dependent on us.  That's usually called abuse.


Devastating But True

As I was doing some reading on the web the other night I came across a quote, a devastating quote in my opinion.

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
 ~ R. D. Laing
I googled Mr. Laing and it turns out he was a psychiatrist.  I really just wanted to know who said such a thing.  The more I thought about it the more I thought that this must be how some see "it".  They must think of their pregnancy as a disease, or an infection, and an abortion as the treatment.  Isn't that devastating?

It reminds me of the phrase "unwanted pregnancy".  Maybe the person who's pregnant doesn't want to be pregnant  or to have a baby, but there's someone out there that wants both more than words can say.  There isn't anything as valuable or as important as a person's life yet some would rather throw it away than give it away.  Isn't that devastating?

We live in a large city.  Unfortunately home break ins and random acts of violence are not rare.  I'm not a worrier by nature but I do have thoughts about what I'd do if something were to happen to us.  I, like most mothers, would die for my children ~ literally.  In the name of "women's rights" and "choice" it's the children (with no rights or choice) who die for their mothers.  Isn't that devastating?

Planned Parenthood of Indiana is selling gift certificates for the holidays.  According to an AP article "the Indiana branch is among a handful of its 99 affiliates that currently offer gift certificates or have done so in the past."  Isn't that pathetic?  Merry Christmas.

It's really too bad that Planned Parenthood doesn't like the word "life", because they could put the above quote to some devastating use.


Who Made You?

Hopefully we all have at least a few books that we absolutely treasure.  One of my treasures is a book called We and Our Children, by Mary Reed Newland.
I'd like to share a couple of excerpts from this treasure with you ~

"Stephen, do you know who made you?"
"Who made me?"
"God made you, Stephen."
"Oh."  And he stops, and thinks, and confirms it.  "God made Stephen."
"Do you know why God made you, Stephen?" he will hardly ever answer, "No."  But almost always, "Why?"  And you tell him, "Because He loves you."  And Stephen knows the most important thing in all the world.
This is security, the first and last and only real security.  And we must make it so real for our children that they will look out at the world from the snug safety of God's love.  They must know that He loves them as though they were His only love, and that they need not fear the dividing of His love because it is indivisible.  It is like the flame of a candle, which will light another candle, and another, and another, and still burn as before.  Nowhere is there more love than this.  This is all love, it never changes, and they may turn to it from the middle of sin or sanctity and always find asylum.

Each and every time I read these words I'm warmed from the inside out by their simple truth.  As wonderful as it is to share this bit of necessity with my boys (and oooh how wonderful it is) it wouldn't be possible if I didn't know it ~ believe it ~ myself.  So I wonder ... how many people don't know this, really know this, inside out?

Today is the first Sunday of Advent ~ the time of year that we prepare for the coming of the Baby Jesus.  I can't begin to tell you all of the lovely thoughts that race through my brain as I contemplate what it must have been like for Our Blessed Mother.  She said, "Yes" to the angel, Gabriel.  She wasn't married; She didn't know how she was going to explain this to her mother or to her betrothed; She might have been stoned to death; she had not planned this.  Yet, she said, "Yes" ... to God ... to Life Itself.

"God made you, dear, ages before He put you on this earth.  You were in the mind of God so long ago that even Mother cannot tell you when it was.  Always He knew you, always He wanted you, and because He knows all things, He knew when was the perfect time for you to come so that you could do what He has planned for you."

During this Advent as my mind is turned to thoughts of the Expectant Virgin Mother I will be praying for this understanding for us all.


The Most Important Person

Each time we brought home one of our sons we were overwhelmed with the incredible feelings of being blessed.  We are tangibly aware that we are blessed, not once but twice, with each child ~ once by God and once by our son's birth mother.  It's an amazingly humbling experience.  The gratitude is never ending.

Being a mother starts at conception.  When a birth mother makes an adoption plan for her child she IS mothering her child ... in an extraordinary way.

This goes out to all birth mothers in thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day.
God bless you!

The Most Important Person On Earth

The most important person on earth is a mother.  She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral.  She need not.  She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral - a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body.

The angels have not been blessed with such a grace.  They cannot share in God's creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven.  Only a human mother can.  Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creatures.   God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation...

What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?

~ Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty


Prayer for the Helpless Unborn

Heavenly Father, in Your
love for us, protect against the
wickedness of the devil, those
helpless little ones to whom You
have given the gift of life.

Touch with pity the hearts of
those women pregnant in our
world today who are not
thinking of motherhood.

Help them to see that the child
they carry is made in Your
image - as well as theirs -
made for eternal life.

Dispel their fear and selfishness
and give them true womanly
hearts to love their babies and
give them birth and all the
needed care that a mother alone
can give.

We ask this through Jesus
Christ, Your Son, Our Lord,
Who lives and reigns with You
and the Holy Spirit, one God,
Forever and ever, Amen.


99 Balloons

I first saw this video about a year ago and I'm still inspired by Eliot and his parents.  It embodies EVERYTHING I hope to achieve with this blog.  It's a true celebration of life and a true appreciation of what a gift the unplanned can be.
Watch and be inspired for yourself!



In reading about the so called Freedom of Choice Act, I'm quite frankly nauseated.  Freedom?  For who?  For women?  For expectant mother's?  What about the unborn child who doesn't get a say in this decision?  Who's protecting their freedom?   I'm flabbergasted by their rhetoric.

(1) "The United States was founded on core principles, such as liberty, personal privacy, and equality, ..."
Isn't it life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?  No surprise that they've left out *life*.

(2) "One of the most private and difficult decisions an individual makes is whether to begin, prevent, continue, or terminate a pregnancy."
Here's the *solution to a problem* attitude again.  What happened to look before you leap?  In a society that puts the emphasis on decision making where it belongs - before we decide to partake in an activity - we wouldn't need to legislate the right to kill our babies.

(5) "...Prior to the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973, an estimated 1,200,000 women each year were forced to resort to illegal abortions,..."
Forced?  Are the millions of drug users who show up in our emergency rooms every year because of overdose forced to resort to their illegal drug use?  We better think seriously about legalizing these drugs.  These people have a constitutional right to their personal pursuit of happiness.

(6) "In countries in which abortion remains illegal, the risk of maternal mortality is high."
According to Dr. Ron Paul, who delivered over 4,000 babies in 35 years, he never had the life of a mother threatened due to her pregnancy.  How many women do you know that die because of their pregnancy?  What is the medical technology like in the countries they're citing here?  We have the most advanced medical care in the world.  Does "maternal mortality" refer to death during child birth?  Those deaths could not be prevented by committing abortion, because a woman giving birth chose life.

(7) "The Roe v. Wade decision also expanded the opportunities for women to participate equally in society.  ...the Supreme Court observed that, 'the ability of women to participate equally in the economic and social life of the Nation has been facilitated by their ability to control their reproductive lives.'."
If I understand this correctly then abortion has allowed women to 'participate equally in society' and 'control their reproductive lives'.  That's a less than dignified illustration of women.

(8) "Even though the Roe v. Wade decision has stood for more than 34 years, there are increasing threats to reproductive health..."
There certainly are increasing threats to reproductive health due to abortion: breast cancer, mental health risks, and much more.

(10) "Legal and practical barriers to the full range of reproductive services endanger women's health and lives. ... Currently, 87 percent of the counties in the United States have no abortion provider."
How many counties in the United States have no hospitals?  The insinuated lack of access to abortion doesn't seem to be effecting the number of abortions committed each year.

(13) "...Congress may, where authorized by it's enumerated powers and not prohibited by the Constitution, enact legislation to create and secure statutory rights in areas of legitimate national concern."
There's a misnomer for you = "legitimate national concern"?  What about those of us who are concerned with protecting the unborn?

(14) "Congress has the affirmative facilitate interstate commerce and to prevent State interference with interstate commerce, liberty, or equal protection of the laws."
How does interstate commerce figure in?  Is this the real concern?  Big business.

(15) "Federal protection of a woman's right to choose ... falls within this affirmative power of Congress, in part, because--
(A) many women cross State lines to obtain abortions...
(B) reproductive health clinics are commercial actors that regularly purchase...from out-of-State suppliers; and
(C) reproductive health clinics employ...personnel who travel across State lines..."
Is it illegal to do business or travel across State lines?  Does this "State line" business seem like an excuse to involve our Federal government?

Please visit to sign the petition against this federal act that our president-elect has promised to sign.  "This act will apply to every Federal, State and local statute, ordinance, regulation, administrative order, decision, policy, practice, or other action enacted, adopted, or implemented before, on, or after the date of enactment of the act."  So much for freedom.



Last weekend I saw the movie Freedom Writers.  It's a true story about a high school teacher that taught a diverse group of students who hated anyone that wasn't part of their ethnic group.  In the beginning of the movie her classroom was a war zone.  By the end of the movie her classroom was a family.  She brilliantly used the holocaust to teach her students how ignorance about a group of people can lead to the destruction of people.  

This movie is thought provoking, to say the least.  I started thinking about the ignorance of humanity at different times in history.  There was a time when some believed that black people were not human.  This belief made slavery possible and acceptable.  There was a time when some believed that Jewish people were not human.  This belief led to the holocaust.  Today there are people who believe that an unborn baby is not human.  This belief makes abortion possible and acceptable.  When will the ignorance end?

I looked the word "human" up in the thesaurus.  The synonyms listed are: being, biped, body, character, child, creature, individual, life, mortal, personage, soul, wight.  The antonyms listed are: abstract, immortal, inanimate, nonentity, plant.  When I look at this picture of a 10 week old baby growing in his mother's womb I'm astonished at the ignorance that might believe this picture shows an abstract, immortal, inanimate, nonentity or plant.

I looked the word "human" up in the dictionary.  The meanings listed are: adj. 1. of, pertaining to , or characteristic of mankind.  2. consisting of people or men; the human race.  3. of or pertaining to the social aspect or character of man: human affairs.  4. sympathetic; humane: human understanding. 5. --n. a human being.  What part of a human pregnancy would not apply here?

I wonder ... is it ignorance or denial?!


Panda Bear

Our youngest son, who's quickly approaching his 3rd birthday, wants to be called "Panda Bear".
Panda Bear has been the *gift that keeps on giving* to every one of us.  Watching our two oldest sons with him has been as wonderful as having a baby again.  When I think back to when Black Bear came home, and made us parents, I'm reminded of the new reasons I found to love my husband.  I've had the same experience with our big boys as I observe them loving their little brother.  Other than our faith, we believe that the greatest gifts we can give our children are siblings.  The way they love each other is proof positive.

It never ceases to amaze me how these three boys came together to bless us with parenthood and form our family.  I sometimes fantasize about having a get together with all of their birthmothers so they can see how much their sons love each other and were meant to be brothers.  I like to think it would bring our birthmothers comfort and reassurance.  They didn't know what their son's life would be like when they made their adoption plan.  I've reaped unending benefits from their choice and I would love to be able to give them peace of mind.

We often hear the pro-abortion side talk about how "it's never an easy decision".  I can not begin to imagine the difficulty in making an adoption plan for my baby.  It's the ultimate sacrifice as a mother.  I can't count how many times I've heard, "I could never give my baby away."  It's a sad commentary on what people think of birthmothers.  Until our society becomes  a whole lot more supportive and accepting of a women's right to choose adoption there will be more women who choose abortion.


A Change of Heart

I received this story from three different people.  It's a story of hope.  Against all odds, truth found a way into this man's life.


Our Society ~ Our Place

It's important to me that anyone who visits this blog understands that I do not think people who have had an abortion are bad people.  I think a society that allows abortions is a bad society.  Unfortunately this is a society that treats sex casually and thus everything that goes along with it has become far too casual.  How did we get here?  Why is abortion an option at all?  No matter how difficult a person's life is, or their unborn baby's life may be, that is not a reason to end life.  Having an abortion is looked at as a solution to a problem.  Our own president-elect has said, "I have two daughters...If they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."

The problem is not the baby, the problem is our society's attitude toward the baby.  The attitude appears to be that life is disposable.  I find it so ironic that when a new born baby is found in a dumpster it makes the local news and yet every single day babies are thrown out in the trash of abortion clinics.

My favorite rationale from many of my "pro-choice" acquaintances is, "I could never have an abortion, but it's not my place to say that others shouldn't."  You've got to be kidding me!  I would never drown my children in a bath tub, but it's not my place to say that Andrea Yates shouldn't.  I would never kill my spouse, but it's not my place to say that O. J. Simpson shouldn't.  I would never be sexually inappropriate with the children in my catechism class, but it's not my place to say that the priest shouldn't.  I would never drink and drive, but it's not my place to say that others shouldn't.  Come on, people, wake up!

Until the fence riders decide that abortion is as wrong as drowning our children, killing each other, sexually molesting our children and drunk driving - babies are going to continue to die.  And they're not going to die because someone is mentally ill, or drunk, but because "it's not our place to say".

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
~ Edmund Burke



Polar Bear

Our second gift from God we're going to call "Polar Bear", because he wants to live in Alaska when he grows up.

Polar Bear is our 9 year old peaceful perfectionist.  He needs routine, to know what to expect and time to adjust to change.  He likes peace and quiet (hence his desire for life in Alaska).  He is very sensitive with a true desire to be understood, being misunderstood hurts his feelings.  He's a boy of intense emotions.  He is self motivated and very bright, quickly catching on at school.  His perfectionism creeps in here and he can be very hard on himself.  Best of all, he is extremely loving and lovable.

Polar Bear does not like to talk about being adopted.  From the time he could communicate (before he was verbal) he did not want to hear that he grew in someone else's tummy.  In an effort to keep him from burying his feelings I occasionally ask him if we can talk about some aspect of adoption or I ask his opinion or feeling about a specific adoption topic.  He quickly gets  emotional.  I have to allow him other ways to express his feelings.  I've given him a baby blanket that his birth mother knit for him when he was born.  He has happily slept with it every night since.  For his last birthday we took a trip to visit the hospital in which he was born.  We took pictures of him at the main entrance to the hospital and in front of the labor and delivery door.  He was beaming the entire time!  Sometimes when we're telling each other how much we love each other, I tell him that his birth mother loves him, too.  Then I add, "And, I love her for growing you, and picking us to be your family, and because you are part her."

As adoptive parents we often hear how fortunate our kids are.  This comment is not unique to us.  Our friends that are adoptive parents hear this, too.  I'm always surprised by this comment because I consider myself the fortunate one. I have to admit, though, that in Polar Bear's case I do think he's fortunate.  His birth mother was quite generous with information about her background and her life at the time he was born.  She had a very chaotic and unstable life.  Polar Bear would be a miserable mess without routine, stability and security.

As in life, grief is a part of adoption that we can't escape.  The up-side is that, as in life, we still have joy.  With abortion there will never be, not even a chance, for joy.


Black Bear

I would like to introduce my first child. For blogging purposes we're going to call him "Black Bear", because his favorite color is black and because I'm "Mama Bear".

Black Bear is 12 years old and nearing 13 faster than I care to admit. If there were one word that best describes him it would be ''creative". His brain is always on and coming up with something. He is a leader and very well liked at school. He is very smart, but not crazy about the work that school requires. He'd much rather be doing something that was his idea.

Black Bear has developed an incredible sense of humor and he's becoming more communicative as he matures. He loves to be talked to, treated as and given the responsibilities of an adult. He really is an absolute joy to be with (most of the time), especially getting a glimpse now and then of the man he's growing into.

Black Bear and I have had quite a few conversations about adoption this year. I've been reading Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, by Sherrie Eldridge. I asked him if he would mind discussing the book with me as I went through it. He was very interested in what it had to say and anything I brought up for discussion. His candor was bittersweet and enlightening.

There are times that he wishes he wasn't adopted, although he wouldn't change it. I tried to say there are times that I wish I could have been pregnant and given birth, although I wouldn't change it. He put me in my place by saying, "Yes, but you'll never really understand because you're not adopted." He's right! I need to listen to him and be grateful for his ability to express himself without trying to fix it.

Black Bear also learned what abortion means this year. For a boy that commented, after his youngest brother came home to join our family, "We just need to adopt nine more brothers and we'll have the perfect family.", this was unimaginable.

It led to a wonderful conversation about his birth mother and what an unrealized gift she really gave him when she chose life. Black Bear had never even considered that he might not be here, much less that it would have been because she could have taken his life from him.


All Too Real

A common fallacy about abortion is that if it's committed early enough there isn't a life present yet, "it's just a mass of cells".  My contention with this fallacy is that in death we have a perfect example of a body without a soul.  Have you ever touched a body in a casket?  It's amazing to behold the stark, tangible difference between life and death.  Your loved one's body is there, right in front of you ~ but he is not there.
If in death we can have a body without a soul, then it's feasible that in life we can have a soul without a body.
I've attached an important video to this post.  It addresses the reality of abortion, consequently some of it's content is horrific.  If you're interested in the message but not the pictures you'll have the ability to skip that part of the video.  On behalf of the innocent lives that will be lost today, I ask you to consider watching.


God's Plan

Life will bring all of us something we never planned for, never even imagined.  By it's very nature the unexpected is uncomfortable, many times down right difficult.  Hindsight gives us the ability to understand why something may have happened by revealing where it has brought us.  It doesn't, however, help us while we trudge through the unexpected.

The emotions that go along with any difficulty are unavoidable.  Our attitude depends on our beliefs, how overwhelmed we are, how much support we have, our outlook on life, our sense of self worth, our temperament/personality type, and our past experiences.  Our actions will depend on what choices we see, with the influence of our emotions and our attitude.

The following is a meditation that a friend recently sent to me that seems appropriate.  In difficult times it is sometimes helpful to view our concerns in a Godly perspective ...

Living According to God's Plan

Why do you take pleasure in tormenting yourself, as you do, over the future?  Your faith teaches you that the future is in the hands of a Father who is infinitely good, Who loves you more than you love yourself and Who understands your interests far better than you.  Have you forgotten that everything that happens is directed by the orders of Divine Providence?  But if we know this how can we hesitate to remain in a state of humble submission, in the most trifling as in the greatest events, to all that God wishes or permits?  How blind we are when we desire anything other than what God wishes.  He alone knows the dangers which threaten us in the future and the help which we shall need.  I am firmly convinced that we should all be lost if God gave us all our desires, and that is why, as Saint Augustine says, God, in His mercy and compassion for our blindness, does not always grant our prayers, and sometimes gives us the contrary of what we ask as being in reality better for us.  In truth, I often think that nearly all of us are in this world in the position of poor-sick people who in their frenzy or delirium ask for the very thing that would cause their death and who have to be refused out of pure charity and an enlightened pity.
~Father Jean-Piere De Caussade, S.J. (1751)

"Sometimes, God hands us something we never expected that ends up leading us to something so unexpectedly wonderful, it changes our life forever ..." 


Why this blog?

My intention in starting this blog is three fold:  For the glory and honor of God; in thanksgiving for my sons; so as not to be one of the silent any longer.

I know what I do here may not please the majority, but I trust that it will please God.  There is too much fear out there about offending each other.  In our effort to stay moderate are we offending God?  Are we allowing the murder of the most innocent?  Are we part of the problem?

I am the mother of three sons through adoption.  I am more thankful for my boys each day that I spend with them.  I have a connection to their birth-mothers that I can't put into words.  I don't know them, and yet they have given me the greatest gift I  could ever receive.  I have a constant desire to thank them, to give back to them.  Along  with being the best mother I can be to their sons, this blog is being offered as a prayer of thanksgiving for them and to them.

As so many others, I have spent the last year listening to, thinking about, praying about this presidential campaign.  In prioritizing the issues I kept coming back to the fact that one candidate was pro-life and one candidate was pro-abortion.  The closer we got to election day the more horrified I was that this is an "issue" at all.  In an effort to *do something*, anything, to appease my sense of helplessness I wrote a letter to my family and friends (see yesterday's post) in hopes of swaying their decisions.  In light of the outcome of the election my sense of helplessness can only be quieted by my decision not to be another one of the silent on the subject of abortion any longer.

Hopefully people who visit will be thinking and talking about the importance and reality of life right from the beginning.  My experience as an adoptive mother will spill in here and there, I hope quite appropriately.  Who knows, maybe some of us will even be inspired to take action that will save lives.


A New Day

I wonder if when people vote for *change* if they are voting for the hope of a country at peace; a county that is financially stable; a country with health care for all; a country with an A+ education system; a country with secure boarders; a country with a leader that we trust; a country with _______ (fill in the blank).

I wonder if all of this is possible?  And, if it were, would we then be willing to stop killing an average of 1,000,000 babies a year?

People do not like to talk about abortion.  Is that how it was with slavery?  Is that how it was with the holocaust?  Is that how it is with anything that is so wrong that it scares us silent?

People think it's inhumane to show pictures of aborted babies; to describe abortion procedures; to require an ultrasound before an abortion; to make the realities of abortion in-your-face-all-too-real.  Why are these things  considered inhumane and abortion is considered a choice?  If we don't all agree that it's a choice to kill, can we agree that it's a choice to stop life?

Many people think that this should be a choice because it's not really a baby yet.  The desire for a baby does not make it real or not.  Wanting a baby doesn't make someone pregnant any more than not wanting a baby changes the fact that someone is really pregnant.  If there's not really a baby growing inside of you then you're not pregnant.

I have often wondered what a different world this would be if the approximately 30,000,000 "abortions" had not had their lives stopped?  When I casually meet a stranger who touches my life in a way that changes the course of my day I wonder how some of those people might have changed the course of our lives, of our world?

I don't expect that everyone sees life from the same perspective.  I just hope that everyone will consider life itself.

I had found myself feeling almost apologetic for the fact that whether or not a candidate is pro-life drives my decision so forcefully.  I have come to find that I am not sorry that THE most important gift that any of us ever receives is THE most important "issue" in my decision making.  When we take away the most basic right ~ the greatest gift ~ life itself ~ I'm just not sure what else matters.

***As I'm saddened by the out come of the election last night, I'm comforted by the man I voted for.  Please click on the title of this post to see his gracious concession speech.