It doesn't matter how old I am there are still monsters in the dark. The unknown is scary! It's only human to be afraid of the unknown or unplanned. That's where faith comes in. We can't, I repeat ... we can't do "it" on our own. When we look at life through the eyes of faith and accept the unknown or unplanned as coming from God we open ourselves up to His plan vs. ours.
Have you ever heard this? ~ "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." His ways are always best!
Birthmothers seem to get this in a special way and cooperate with God's plan in a courageous manner. I worry about the negative image that people have of birth mothers: they're cold and heartless; they don't love their children; they're selfish, careless and irresponsible.
Consider that birth mothers are women of all ages; they are women from all walks of life; they're in a difficult situation or they're having a hard time at this point in life; they love their children as much as anyone; they have incredible self awareness admitting that they can't give their child what they want them to have; they are unimaginably selfless in their ability to let go of a part of themselves, with no guarantee - but hope, that their child will have a better life; they live with a hole in their heart because of this sacrifice; that they are brave.
Each birth mother has her own individual story. And because the adoption process has changed in the last generation, she can now make choices that she wouldn't have been able to make in the past. Choices that take away some of the unknown and thus quell some of her fears. A birth mother can specify the exact family she would want to love her baby. She can choose the race, religion, pets, number of children, yearly income, anything that's important to her.
I've heard negative comments about this, as well. If we stop to really think about what a birth mother is sacrificing then it makes all the sense in the world that she should have the ability to make choices for her baby that she is comfortable with. She will have plenty of the unknown to wonder about in the future and giving her this peace of mind in the beginning isn't too much to ask.