Lenten Meditation

I so wanted to post this by Ash Wednesday, and here we are ~ a day late.  There is always so much I want to say and so much I wish I could accomplish.

I have been struggling with my own cross, my infertility.  It's always there, lurking over me and at times can really bear down on me.  I know that I need to focus on the gifts of these three sons I've been so blessed to mother and concentrate on what I have ~ not on what I can't do.  I often wonder how this cross of mine is like a woman who finds herself pregnant with an "unwanted" baby.  The complete and utter lack of control, the wondering why, the sadness, the frustration, the ache.  I don't know if it's at all the same or not?  So often apparent opposites aren't as different as they seem.

I know the answer to that "why" question when I look at my boys.  And, I am part of the answer to their birthmother's "why".  We have fulfilled a need for each other.  The other part of their "why" can only be explained by God, but I do know that it has something to do with their finding their way to Him.

We each have our own crosses to bear and I find great comfort in knowing exactly Who mine came from and His whole purpose in sending it.  Not to mention the three incredible boys He's sent to help me carry it.  As we make our way through this holy season of Lent, I pray that all of you will find your way a little closer to Him, too.

Splinters From The Cross

Little headaches, little heartaches
   Little griefs of every day.
Little trials and vexations,
   How they throng around our way!
One great cross, immense and heavy,
   So it seems to our weak will,
Might be borne with resignation,
   But these many small ones kill,
Yet all life is formed of small things,
   Little leaves, make up the trees,
Many tiny drops of water
   Blending, make the mighty seas.
Let us not then by impatience
   Mar the beauty of the whole,
But for love of Jesus bear all
   Asking Him for grace sufficient
To sustain us through each loss,
   And to treasure each small offering
As a splinter from His Cross.

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