Who Made You?

Hopefully we all have at least a few books that we absolutely treasure.  One of my treasures is a book called We and Our Children, by Mary Reed Newland.

I'd like to share a couple of excerpts from this treasure with you ~

"Stephen, do you know who made you?"

"Who made me?"

"God made you, Stephen."

"Oh."  And he stops, and thinks, and confirms it.  "God made Stephen."

"Do you know why God made you, Stephen?" he will hardly ever answer, "No."  But almost always, "Why?"  And you tell him, "Because He loves you."  And Stephen knows the most important thing in all the world.

This is security, the first and last and only real security.  And we must make it so real for our children that they will look out at the world from the snug safety of God's love.  They must know that He loves them as though they were His only love, and that they need not fear the dividing of His love because it is indivisible.  It is like the flame of a candle, which will light another candle, and another, and another, and still burn as before.  Nowhere is there more love than this.  This is all love, it never changes, and they may turn to it from the middle of sin or sanctity and always find asylum.

Each and every time I read these words I'm warmed from the inside out by their simple truth.  As wonderful as it is to share this bit of necessity with my boys (and oooh how wonderful it is) it wouldn't be possible if I didn't know it ~ believe it ~ myself.  So I wonder ... how many people don't know this, really know this, inside out?

Today is the first Sunday of Advent ~ the time of year that we prepare for the coming of the Baby Jesus.  I can't begin to tell you all of the lovely thoughts that race through my brain as I contemplate what it must have been like for Our Blessed Mother.  She said, "Yes" to the angel, Gabriel.  She wasn't married; She didn't know how she was going to explain this to her mother or to her betrothed; She might have been stoned to death; she had not planned this.  Yet, she said, "Yes" ... to God ... to Life Itself.

"God made you, dear, ages before He put you on this earth.  You were in the mind of God so long ago that even Mother cannot tell you when it was.  Always He knew you, always He wanted you, and because He knows all things, He knew when was the perfect time for you to come so that you could do what He has planned for you."

During this Advent as my mind is turned to thoughts of the Expectant Virgin Mother I will be praying for this understanding for us all.

The Most Important Person

Each time we brought home one of our sons we were overwhelmed with the incredible feelings of being blessed.  We are tangibly aware that we are blessed, not once but twice, with each child ~ once by God and once by our son's birth mother.  It's an amazingly humbling experience.  The gratitude is never ending.

Being a mother starts at conception.  When a birth mother makes an adoption plan for her child she IS mothering her child ... in an extraordinary way.

This goes out to all birth mothers in thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day.

God bless you!

The Most Important Person On Earth

The most important person on earth is a mother.  She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral.  She need not.  She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral - a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body.

The angels have not been blessed with such a grace.  They cannot share in God's creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven.  Only a human mother can.  Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creatures.   God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation...

What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?

~ Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

Prayer for the Helpless Unborn

Heavenly Father, in Your

love for us, protect against the

wickedness of the devil, those

helpless little ones to whom You

have given the gift of life.

Touch with pity the hearts of

those women pregnant in our

world today who are not

thinking of motherhood.

Help them to see that the child

they carry is made in Your

image - as well as theirs -

made for eternal life.

Dispel their fear and selfishness

and give them true womanly

hearts to love their babies and

give them birth and all the

needed care that a mother alone

can give.

We ask this through Jesus

Christ, Your Son, Our Lord,

Who lives and reigns with You

and the Holy Spirit, one God,

Forever and ever, Amen.

99 Balloons

I first saw this video about a year ago and I'm still inspired by Eliot and his parents.  It embodies EVERYTHING I hope to achieve with this blog.  It's a true celebration of life and a true appreciation of what a gift the unplanned can be.

Watch and be inspired for yourself!

Freedom?

In reading about the so called Freedom of Choice Act, I'm quite frankly nauseated.  Freedom?  For who?  For women?  For expectant mother's?  What about the unborn child who doesn't get a say in this decision?  Who's protecting their freedom?   I'm flabbergasted by their rhetoric.

(1) "The United States was founded on core principles, such as liberty, personal privacy, and equality, ..."

Isn't it life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?  No surprise that they've left out *life*.

(2) "One of the most private and difficult decisions an individual makes is whether to begin, prevent, continue, or terminate a pregnancy."

Here's the *solution to a problem* attitude again.  What happened to look before you leap?  In a society that puts the emphasis on decision making where it belongs - before we decide to partake in an activity - we wouldn't need to legislate the right to kill our babies.

(5) "...Prior to the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973, an estimated 1,200,000 women each year were forced to resort to illegal abortions,..."

Forced?  Are the millions of drug users who show up in our emergency rooms every year because of overdose forced to resort to their illegal drug use?  We better think seriously about legalizing these drugs.  These people have a constitutional right to their personal pursuit of happiness.

(6) "In countries in which abortion remains illegal, the risk of maternal mortality is high."

According to Dr. Ron Paul, who delivered over 4,000 babies in 35 years, he never had the life of a mother threatened due to her pregnancy.  How many women do you know that die because of their pregnancy?  What is the medical technology like in the countries they're citing here?  We have the most advanced medical care in the world.  Does "maternal mortality" refer to death during child birth?  Those deaths could not be prevented by committing abortion, because a woman giving birth chose life.

(7) "The Roe v. Wade decision also expanded the opportunities for women to participate equally in society.  ...the Supreme Court observed that, 'the ability of women to participate equally in the economic and social life of the Nation has been facilitated by their ability to control their reproductive lives.'."

If I understand this correctly then abortion has allowed women to 'participate equally in society' and 'control their reproductive lives'.  That's a less than dignified illustration of women.

(8) "Even though the Roe v. Wade decision has stood for more than 34 years, there are increasing threats to reproductive health..."

There certainly are increasing threats to reproductive health due to abortion: breast cancer, mental health risks, and much more.

(10) "Legal and practical barriers to the full range of reproductive services endanger women's health and lives. ... Currently, 87 percent of the counties in the United States have no abortion provider."

How many counties in the United States have no hospitals?  The insinuated lack of access to abortion doesn't seem to be effecting the number of abortions committed each year.

(13) "...Congress may, where authorized by it's enumerated powers and not prohibited by the Constitution, enact legislation to create and secure statutory rights in areas of legitimate national concern."

There's a misnomer for you = "legitimate national concern"?  What about those of us who are concerned with protecting the unborn?

(14) "Congress has the affirmative power...to facilitate interstate commerce and to prevent State interference with interstate commerce, liberty, or equal protection of the laws."

How does interstate commerce figure in?  Is this the real concern?  Big business.

(15) "Federal protection of a woman's right to choose ... falls within this affirmative power of Congress, in part, because--

(A) many women cross State lines to obtain abortions...

(B) reproductive health clinics are commercial actors that regularly purchase...from out-of-State suppliers; and

(C) reproductive health clinics employ...personnel who travel across State lines..."

Is it illegal to do business or travel across State lines?  Does this "State line" business seem like an excuse to involve our Federal government?

Please visit www.fightfoca.com to sign the petition against this federal act that our president-elect has promised to sign.  "This act will apply to every Federal, State and local statute, ordinance, regulation, administrative order, decision, policy, practice, or other action enacted, adopted, or implemented before, on, or after the date of enactment of the act."  So much for freedom.

 

Human

Last weekend I saw the movie Freedom Writers.  It's a true story about a high school teacher that taught a diverse group of students who hated anyone that wasn't part of their ethnic group.  In the beginning of the movie her classroom was a war zone.  By the end of the movie her classroom was a family.  She brilliantly used the holocaust to teach her students how ignorance about a group of people can lead to the destruction of people.  

This movie is thought provoking, to say the least.  I started thinking about the ignorance of humanity at different times in history.  There was a time when some believed that black people were not human.  This belief made slavery possible and acceptable.  There was a time when some believed that Jewish people were not human.  This belief led to the holocaust.  Today there are people who believe that an unborn baby is not human.  This belief makes abortion possible and acceptable.  When will the ignorance end?

I looked the word "human" up in the thesaurus.  The synonyms listed are: being, biped, body, character, child, creature, individual, life, mortal, personage, soul, wight.  The antonyms listed are: abstract, immortal, inanimate, nonentity, plant.  When I look at this picture of a 10 week old baby growing in his mother's womb I'm astonished at the ignorance that might believe this picture shows an abstract, immortal, inanimate, nonentity or plant.

I looked the word "human" up in the dictionary.  The meanings listed are: adj. 1. of, pertaining to , or characteristic of mankind.  2. consisting of people or men; the human race.  3. of or pertaining to the social aspect or character of man: human affairs.  4. sympathetic; humane: human understanding. 5. --n. a human being.  What part of a human pregnancy would not apply here?

I wonder ... is it ignorance or denial?!

Panda Bear

Our youngest son, who's quickly approaching his 3rd birthday, wants to be called "Panda Bear".

  

Panda Bear has been the *gift that keeps on giving* to every one of us.  Watching our two oldest sons with him has been as wonderful as having a baby again.  When I think back to when Black Bear came home, and made us parents, I'm reminded of the new reasons I found to love my husband.  I've had the same experience with our big boys as I observe them loving their little brother.  Other than our faith, we believe that the greatest gifts we can give our children are siblings.  The way they love each other is proof positive.

It never ceases to amaze me how these three boys came together to bless us with parenthood and form our family.  I sometimes fantasize about having a get together with all of their birthmothers so they can see how much their sons love each other and were meant to be brothers.  I like to think it would bring our birthmothers comfort and reassurance.  They didn't know what their son's life would be like when they made their adoption plan.  I've reaped unending benefits from their choice and I would love to be able to give them peace of mind.

We often hear the pro-abortion side talk about how "it's never an easy decision".  I can not begin to imagine the difficulty in making an adoption plan for my baby.  It's the ultimate sacrifice as a mother.  I can't count how many times I've heard, "I could never give my baby away."  It's a sad commentary on what people think of birthmothers.  Until our society becomes  a whole lot more supportive and accepting of a women's right to choose adoption there will be more women who choose abortion.

 

A Change of Heart

I received this story from three different people.  It's a story of hope.  Against all odds, truth found a way into this man's life.

Our Society ~ Our Place

It's important to me that anyone who visits this blog understands that I do not think people who have had an abortion are bad people.  I think a society that allows abortions is a bad society.  Unfortunately this is a society that treats sex casually and thus everything that goes along with it has become far too casual.  How did we get here?  Why is abortion an option at all?  No matter how difficult a person's life is, or their unborn baby's life may be, that is not a reason to end life.  Having an abortion is looked at as a solution to a problem.  Our own president-elect has said, "I have two daughters...If they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."

The problem is not the baby, the problem is our society's attitude toward the baby.  The attitude appears to be that life is disposable.  I find it so ironic that when a new born baby is found in a dumpster it makes the local news and yet every single day babies are thrown out in the trash of abortion clinics.

My favorite rationale from many of my "pro-choice" acquaintances is, "I could never have an abortion, but it's not my place to say that others shouldn't."  You've got to be kidding me!  I would never drown my children in a bath tub, but it's not my place to say that Andrea Yates shouldn't.  I would never kill my spouse, but it's not my place to say that O. J. Simpson shouldn't.  I would never be sexually inappropriate with the children in my catechism class, but it's not my place to say that the priest shouldn't.  I would never drink and drive, but it's not my place to say that others shouldn't.  Come on, people, wake up!

Until the fence riders decide that abortion is as wrong as drowning our children, killing each other, sexually molesting our children and drunk driving - babies are going to continue to die.  And they're not going to die because someone is mentally ill, or drunk, but because "it's not our place to say".

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

~ Edmund Burke

  

Polar Bear

Our second gift from God we're going to call "Polar Bear", because he wants to live in Alaska when he grows up.

Polar Bear is our 9 year old peaceful perfectionist.  He needs routine, to know what to expect and time to adjust to change.  He likes peace and quiet (hence his desire for life in Alaska).  He is very sensitive with a true desire to be understood, being misunderstood hurts his feelings.  He's a boy of intense emotions.  He is self motivated and very bright, quickly catching on at school.  His perfectionism creeps in here and he can be very hard on himself.  Best of all, he is extremely loving and lovable.

Polar Bear does not like to talk about being adopted.  From the time he could communicate (before he was verbal) he did not want to hear that he grew in someone else's tummy.  In an effort to keep him from burying his feelings I occasionally ask him if we can talk about some aspect of adoption or I ask his opinion or feeling about a specific adoption topic.  He quickly gets  emotional.  I have to allow him other ways to express his feelings.  I've given him a baby blanket that his birth mother knit for him when he was born.  He has happily slept with it every night since.  For his last birthday we took a trip to visit the hospital in which he was born.  We took pictures of him at the main entrance to the hospital and in front of the labor and delivery door.  He was beaming the entire time!  Sometimes when we're telling each other how much we love each other, I tell him that his birth mother loves him, too.  Then I add, "And, I love her for growing you, and picking us to be your family, and because you are part her."

As adoptive parents we often hear how fortunate our kids are.  This comment is not unique to us.  Our friends that are adoptive parents hear this, too.  I'm always surprised by this comment because I consider myself the fortunate one. I have to admit, though, that in Polar Bear's case I do think he's fortunate.  His birth mother was quite generous with information about her background and her life at the time he was born.  She had a very chaotic and unstable life.  Polar Bear would be a miserable mess without routine, stability and security.

As in life, grief is a part of adoption that we can't escape.  The up-side is that, as in life, we still have joy.  With abortion there will never be, not even a chance, for joy.

Black Bear

I would like to introduce my first child. For blogging purposes we're going to call him "Black Bear", because his favorite color is black and because I'm "Mama Bear".

Black Bear is 12 years old and nearing 13 faster than I care to admit. If there were one word that best describes him it would be ''creative". His brain is always on and coming up with something. He is a leader and very well liked at school. He is very smart, but not crazy about the work that school requires. He'd much rather be doing something that was his idea.

Black Bear has developed an incredible sense of humor and he's becoming more communicative as he matures. He loves to be talked to, treated as and given the responsibilities of an adult. He really is an absolute joy to be with (most of the time), especially getting a glimpse now and then of the man he's growing into.

Black Bear and I have had quite a few conversations about adoption this year. I've been reading Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, by Sherrie Eldridge. I asked him if he would mind discussing the book with me as I went through it. He was very interested in what it had to say and anything I brought up for discussion. His candor was bittersweet and enlightening.

There are times that he wishes he wasn't adopted, although he wouldn't change it. I tried to say there are times that I wish I could have been pregnant and given birth, although I wouldn't change it. He put me in my place by saying, "Yes, but you'll never really understand because you're not adopted." He's right! I need to listen to him and be grateful for his ability to express himself without trying to fix it.

Black Bear also learned what abortion means this year. For a boy that commented, after his youngest brother came home to join our family, "We just need to adopt nine more brothers and we'll have the perfect family.", this was unimaginable.

It led to a wonderful conversation about his birth mother and what an unrealized gift she really gave him when she chose life. Black Bear had never even considered that he might not be here, much less that it would have been because she could have taken his life from him.

All Too Real

A common fallacy about abortion is that if it's committed early enough there isn't a life present yet, "it's just a mass of cells".  My contention with this fallacy is that in death we have a perfect example of a body without a soul.  Have you ever touched a body in a casket?  It's amazing to behold the stark, tangible difference between life and death.  Your loved one's body is there, right in front of you ~ but he is not there.

If in death we can have a body without a soul, then it's feasible that in life we can have a soul without a body.

I've attached an important video to this post.  It addresses the reality of abortion, consequently some of it's content is horrific.  If you're interested in the message but not the pictures you'll have the ability to skip that part of the video.  On behalf of the innocent lives that will be lost today, I ask you to consider watching.

God's Plan

Life will bring all of us something we never planned for, never even imagined.  By it's very nature the unexpected is uncomfortable, many times down right difficult.  Hindsight gives us the ability to understand why something may have happened by revealing where it has brought us.  It doesn't, however, help us while we trudge through the unexpected.

The emotions that go along with any difficulty are unavoidable.  Our attitude depends on our beliefs, how overwhelmed we are, how much support we have, our outlook on life, our sense of self worth, our temperament/personality type, and our past experiences.  Our actions will depend on what choices we see, with the influence of our emotions and our attitude.

The following is a meditation that a friend recently sent to me that seems appropriate.  In difficult times it is sometimes helpful to view our concerns in a Godly perspective ...

Living According to God's Plan

Why do you take pleasure in tormenting yourself, as you do, over the future?  Your faith teaches you that the future is in the hands of a Father who is infinitely good, Who loves you more than you love yourself and Who understands your interests far better than you.  Have you forgotten that everything that happens is directed by the orders of Divine Providence?  But if we know this how can we hesitate to remain in a state of humble submission, in the most trifling as in the greatest events, to all that God wishes or permits?  How blind we are when we desire anything other than what God wishes.  He alone knows the dangers which threaten us in the future and the help which we shall need.  I am firmly convinced that we should all be lost if God gave us all our desires, and that is why, as Saint Augustine says, God, in His mercy and compassion for our blindness, does not always grant our prayers, and sometimes gives us the contrary of what we ask as being in reality better for us.  In truth, I often think that nearly all of us are in this world in the position of poor-sick people who in their frenzy or delirium ask for the very thing that would cause their death and who have to be refused out of pure charity and an enlightened pity.

~Father Jean-Piere De Caussade, S.J. (1751)

"Sometimes, God hands us something we never expected that ends up leading us to something so unexpectedly wonderful, it changes our life forever ..." 

Why this blog?

My intention in starting this blog is three fold:  For the glory and honor of God; in thanksgiving for my sons; so as not to be one of the silent any longer.

I know what I do here may not please the majority, but I trust that it will please God.  There is too much fear out there about offending each other.  In our effort to stay moderate are we offending God?  Are we allowing the murder of the most innocent?  Are we part of the problem?

I am the mother of three sons through adoption.  I am more thankful for my boys each day that I spend with them.  I have a connection to their birth-mothers that I can't put into words.  I don't know them, and yet they have given me the greatest gift I  could ever receive.  I have a constant desire to thank them, to give back to them.  Along  with being the best mother I can be to their sons, this blog is being offered as a prayer of thanksgiving for them and to them.

As so many others, I have spent the last year listening to, thinking about, praying about this presidential campaign.  In prioritizing the issues I kept coming back to the fact that one candidate was pro-life and one candidate was pro-abortion.  The closer we got to election day the more horrified I was that this is an "issue" at all.  In an effort to *do something*, anything, to appease my sense of helplessness I wrote a letter to my family and friends (see yesterday's post) in hopes of swaying their decisions.  In light of the outcome of the election my sense of helplessness can only be quieted by my decision not to be another one of the silent on the subject of abortion any longer.

Hopefully people who visit will be thinking and talking about the importance and reality of life right from the beginning.  My experience as an adoptive mother will spill in here and there, I hope quite appropriately.  Who knows, maybe some of us will even be inspired to take action that will save lives.

  

A New Day

I wonder if when people vote for *change* if they are voting for the hope of a country at peace; a county that is financially stable; a country with health care for all; a country with an A+ education system; a country with secure boarders; a country with a leader that we trust; a country with _______ (fill in the blank).

I wonder if all of this is possible?  And, if it were, would we then be willing to stop killing an average of 1,000,000 babies a year?

People do not like to talk about abortion.  Is that how it was with slavery?  Is that how it was with the holocaust?  Is that how it is with anything that is so wrong that it scares us silent?

People think it's inhumane to show pictures of aborted babies; to describe abortion procedures; to require an ultrasound before an abortion; to make the realities of abortion in-your-face-all-too-real.  Why are these things  considered inhumane and abortion is considered a choice?  If we don't all agree that it's a choice to kill, can we agree that it's a choice to stop life?

Many people think that this should be a choice because it's not really a baby yet.  The desire for a baby does not make it real or not.  Wanting a baby doesn't make someone pregnant any more than not wanting a baby changes the fact that someone is really pregnant.  If there's not really a baby growing inside of you then you're not pregnant.

I have often wondered what a different world this would be if the approximately 30,000,000 "abortions" had not had their lives stopped?  When I casually meet a stranger who touches my life in a way that changes the course of my day I wonder how some of those people might have changed the course of our lives, of our world?

I don't expect that everyone sees life from the same perspective.  I just hope that everyone will consider life itself.

I had found myself feeling almost apologetic for the fact that whether or not a candidate is pro-life drives my decision so forcefully.  I have come to find that I am not sorry that THE most important gift that any of us ever receives is THE most important "issue" in my decision making.  When we take away the most basic right ~ the greatest gift ~ life itself ~ I'm just not sure what else matters.

***As I'm saddened by the out come of the election last night, I'm comforted by the man I voted for.  Please click on the title of this post to see his gracious concession speech.